CHRONICLES OF MY LOVER AND I

So I arrived with my lover, my husband to unfamiliar place

Out of a fear of being lost, I clasped my Husband's hand and walked so closely to Him

That from afar it seemed like it was a lone being approaching though it was actually two (I guess that’s what marriage did right- make two things one?)

It seemed I was unwillingly to let go….. It seemed

But not too soon after, I felt quite empowered, confident, BOLD that I could trek this path and explore its (unfamiliar) territory ALONE

So I let go of His hand- the hand that had guided me to this place- and requested that He wait…for me (Well at least that’s what my actions implied);

There were some things required my attention and I had to seek after them…. ALONE

So off gallivanting I went eager to discover this new place,

And better yet I was free (or so I thought) to do so without any hindrances and no one to “nag” me “Don’t go there”; “Don’t do this”; “You will get hurt” etc. etc. etc.

I was free!

What I saw and the people I met were beyond expectation- I mean WOW!

I even saw familiar faces from my past, some of whom inquired of my spouse (I guess they saw my wedding ring) to which I responded “He’s around.”

Without probing further, they moved along- for which I was thankful

I had no desire that they be introduced to my spouse because I knew their all-too-familiar speeches: “Him? He’s not all that. I expected better of you.”

*sigh of relief*

(Now come to think of it- was I really ashamed of Him?)

So many things to see and do

And with time quickly drifting by, I wanted to do it all even as darkness clothed the evening sky

I simply could not have cared less for I had confidence I could do it alone, REMEMBER?

And IT happened…..

In the midst of smiling faces an enemy arose

Robbing me of my possessions resulting in some physical injuries in the process (after all I had to fight back especially for my LIFE)

And there I stood, left with nothing but my wedding ring *surprise surprise* and my life, the very breath of my lungs

Of course now I wanted more than ever to return to my spouse

Not because He was waiting for me but because I realized that I was no good alone (now I’m so thankful for His patience)

I desired the safety of His arms, the warmth of His embrace, the touch of His hand and the strength and confidence of His stride, His decisions

I now understood why I suddenly never wanted nor should have departed from His presence in the first instance

And there I found Him, the same place I left Him….. waiting (with His back facing me)

I felt even more ashamed to approach Him with every step I took that brought me closer to Him

I expected rebuke, repulsion, scolding, anger and shame in His gaze

How could I bear that? Even though I knew I deserved it, especially given the way I treated Him

The dreadful moment arose… He turned toward me

Expecting what I thought I should have received I sobbed uncontrollably

But instead he ran toward me meeting me in the middle of my trek

Love and concern poured out from His gaze, and the arms that I so missed enveloped me

With soothing words He comforted me

My Husband…. He loved me

My Husband…. He accepted me

Though deserving of His rejection after my rejection- He stuck around, exemplifying His word in Ephesians 5

He lifted me and carried me to our place of rest

But for me He was already my place of rest, my comfort, my shelter

Now that I have seen and felt this love, I do not want to let go not even for a moment

My Husband…. God….

Carries me through this journey of life and I choose to cling to Him forever!

Forgive me my God for the times I have strayed, for I know true joy is found in Your presence. I return to You today with all my heart and soul. If not surrendered, Daddy I surrender, for I am nothing without You but with You I am everything. I love You with every fiber of my being, Your being- for You have created me for love and to love- a love that first begins with loving You UNCONDITIONALLY.