So I arrived with my lover,
my husband to unfamiliar place
Out of a fear of being lost,
I clasped my Husband's hand and walked so closely to Him
That from afar it
seemed like it was a lone being approaching though it was actually two (I guess
that’s what marriage did right- make two things one?)
It seemed I was
unwillingly to let go….. It seemed
But not too soon after,
I felt quite empowered, confident, BOLD that I could trek this path and explore
its (unfamiliar) territory ALONE
So I let go of His hand-
the hand that had guided me to this place- and requested that He wait…for me
(Well at least that’s what my actions implied);
There were some things required
my attention and I had to seek after them…. ALONE
So off gallivanting I went
eager to discover this new place,
And better yet I was
free (or so I thought) to do so without any hindrances and no one to “nag” me “Don’t
go there”; “Don’t do this”; “You will get hurt” etc. etc. etc.
I was free!
What I saw and the
people I met were beyond expectation- I mean WOW!
I even saw familiar
faces from my past, some of whom inquired of my spouse (I guess they saw my
wedding ring) to which I responded “He’s around.”
Without probing
further, they moved along- for which I was thankful
I had no desire that
they be introduced to my spouse because I knew their all-too-familiar speeches:
“Him? He’s not all that. I expected better of you.”
*sigh of relief*
(Now come to think of
it- was I really ashamed of Him?)
So many things to see and
do
And with time quickly
drifting by, I wanted to do it all even as darkness clothed the evening sky
I simply could not have
cared less for I had confidence I could do it alone, REMEMBER?
And IT happened…..
In the midst of smiling
faces an enemy arose
Robbing me of my
possessions resulting in some physical injuries in the process (after all I had
to fight back especially for my LIFE)
And there I stood, left
with nothing but my wedding ring *surprise surprise* and my life, the very breath
of my lungs
Of course now I wanted
more than ever to return to my spouse
Not because He was
waiting for me but because I realized that I was no good alone (now I’m so
thankful for His patience)
I desired the safety of
His arms, the warmth of His embrace, the touch of His hand and the strength and
confidence of His stride, His decisions
I now understood why I
suddenly never wanted nor should have departed from His presence in the first
instance
And there I found Him,
the same place I left Him….. waiting (with His back facing me)
I felt even more
ashamed to approach Him with every step I took that brought me closer to Him
I expected rebuke,
repulsion, scolding, anger and shame in His gaze
How could I bear that?
Even though I knew I deserved it, especially given the way I treated Him
The dreadful moment
arose… He turned toward me
Expecting what I thought
I should have received I sobbed uncontrollably
But instead he ran
toward me meeting me in the middle of my trek
Love and concern poured
out from His gaze, and the arms that I so missed enveloped me
With soothing words He
comforted me
My Husband…. He loved
me
My Husband…. He
accepted me
Though deserving of His
rejection after my rejection- He stuck around, exemplifying His word in
Ephesians 5
He lifted me and carried
me to our place of rest
But for me He was
already my place of rest, my comfort, my shelter
My Husband…. God….
Carries me through this
journey of life and I choose to cling to Him forever!
Forgive me my God for
the times I have strayed, for I know true joy is found in Your presence. I
return to You today with all my heart and soul. If not surrendered, Daddy I
surrender, for I am nothing without You but with You I am everything. I love
You with every fiber of my being, Your being- for You have created me for love
and to love- a love that first begins with loving You UNCONDITIONALLY.
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