Forgive Me (For Neglecting God’s Word In My Actions)

“⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)”

Forgiveness starts with me and this I know and I believe

The words I have spoken generated pain,

Through the harshness or brutality in which it was unleashed

I had to sit back after releasing this venom

The poison in my veins seemed to leave me stained- lost- maybe even confused,

As to how I became this way and the source of this sting

I realized that it began with me

And it is from within me, in allowing the filth of the atmosphere to be breathed into the very breath of my lungs

And it is with all that I have and am I ask for your forgiveness

For the times when I know I could have spoken to you better

Soothingly, as if cooing to a babe- speaking in love so that the point could be drawn

To the point where the words no longer hurt, instead they are enveloped in love

Did I know better? Yes I did!

But I allowed the fears of failure, the pillars of my selfish pride and the unabashed glories of frustration grip my soul

And all I seemed to do was scream; when all I really wanted to do was to make you see

(That) All that I long to do or say is to ensure that you- my family- are safe from harm

Where all chains of brokenness and callousness and destroyed

And the hand of God can soar in the unthinkable way as only He can work

Instead I became like the beast himself…

Forgive me, for I lacked patience in understanding that I was made to endure and preach Christ to you, through every  possible avenue

Forgive me for I allowed my actions to deflect His and my character to permit you to question His work in me- in us

Forgive me Lord even more, for never intended to divert your people’s hope in you into that of the world

It is on this day I ask for utmost restoration and forgiveness

Teach me to love selflessly and unconditionally like Christ Your Son, my Savior

All the while understanding that I too am still your child and I ought to speak to Your children- my brothers and my sisters- in utmost respect, love and understanding

Teach me to have Your eyes and ears and to speak ONLY with Your mouth

Teach me to walk in all of Your precepts and ways from this day onward

Though I may fail, may I be quick to realign my path to Your Holy Way

Most importantly teach me to walk according to Your will, with Your character and armor girding me like a shield from the frivolous attacks of the spiritual dark forces

But to you I say again;

Please forgive me for I have acted insecurely towards you

Please forgive me for I spoke not with His love breathing through the words

Forgive me… for being human is no excuse to hurt you.