CHRONICLES OF MY LOVER AND I

So I arrived with my lover, my husband to unfamiliar place

Out of a fear of being lost, I clasped my Husband's hand and walked so closely to Him

That from afar it seemed like it was a lone being approaching though it was actually two (I guess that’s what marriage did right- make two things one?)

It seemed I was unwillingly to let go….. It seemed

But not too soon after, I felt quite empowered, confident, BOLD that I could trek this path and explore its (unfamiliar) territory ALONE

So I let go of His hand- the hand that had guided me to this place- and requested that He wait…for me (Well at least that’s what my actions implied);

There were some things required my attention and I had to seek after them…. ALONE

So off gallivanting I went eager to discover this new place,

And better yet I was free (or so I thought) to do so without any hindrances and no one to “nag” me “Don’t go there”; “Don’t do this”; “You will get hurt” etc. etc. etc.

I was free!

What I saw and the people I met were beyond expectation- I mean WOW!

I even saw familiar faces from my past, some of whom inquired of my spouse (I guess they saw my wedding ring) to which I responded “He’s around.”

Without probing further, they moved along- for which I was thankful

I had no desire that they be introduced to my spouse because I knew their all-too-familiar speeches: “Him? He’s not all that. I expected better of you.”

*sigh of relief*

(Now come to think of it- was I really ashamed of Him?)

So many things to see and do

And with time quickly drifting by, I wanted to do it all even as darkness clothed the evening sky

I simply could not have cared less for I had confidence I could do it alone, REMEMBER?

And IT happened…..

In the midst of smiling faces an enemy arose

Robbing me of my possessions resulting in some physical injuries in the process (after all I had to fight back especially for my LIFE)

And there I stood, left with nothing but my wedding ring *surprise surprise* and my life, the very breath of my lungs

Of course now I wanted more than ever to return to my spouse

Not because He was waiting for me but because I realized that I was no good alone (now I’m so thankful for His patience)

I desired the safety of His arms, the warmth of His embrace, the touch of His hand and the strength and confidence of His stride, His decisions

I now understood why I suddenly never wanted nor should have departed from His presence in the first instance

And there I found Him, the same place I left Him….. waiting (with His back facing me)

I felt even more ashamed to approach Him with every step I took that brought me closer to Him

I expected rebuke, repulsion, scolding, anger and shame in His gaze

How could I bear that? Even though I knew I deserved it, especially given the way I treated Him

The dreadful moment arose… He turned toward me

Expecting what I thought I should have received I sobbed uncontrollably

But instead he ran toward me meeting me in the middle of my trek

Love and concern poured out from His gaze, and the arms that I so missed enveloped me

With soothing words He comforted me

My Husband…. He loved me

My Husband…. He accepted me

Though deserving of His rejection after my rejection- He stuck around, exemplifying His word in Ephesians 5

He lifted me and carried me to our place of rest

But for me He was already my place of rest, my comfort, my shelter

Now that I have seen and felt this love, I do not want to let go not even for a moment

My Husband…. God….

Carries me through this journey of life and I choose to cling to Him forever!

Forgive me my God for the times I have strayed, for I know true joy is found in Your presence. I return to You today with all my heart and soul. If not surrendered, Daddy I surrender, for I am nothing without You but with You I am everything. I love You with every fiber of my being, Your being- for You have created me for love and to love- a love that first begins with loving You UNCONDITIONALLY.

A PART

It’s amazing, when you try sinking back into what used to be comfortable shoes,

How they no longer fit

That’s what we so often refer to as growth

But I’m talking to you- Christian or not- yes you, who God has brought through seasonal changes

That have allowed for spiritual maturity and firmer foundation in Him & His word

Sometimes we question our stance, you know, “Who am I in Christ? How have I progressed? Where do I stand?”

But your answer comes when you find yourself in the midst of a once familiar flock

And realize the quality and value of their wool is no longer premium

Maybe market changes created a new and higher demand for your wool-

It’s whiter, softer, highly maintained, simply ensured by your Shepard

But it all really changed when you changed Caretakers’ hands

I am not belittling anybody or anything here-

But I’m encouraging you- embrace change,

No matter how painful [your tears constantly stain your pillow]

No matter how peculiar [your “friends” no longer acknowledge you]

No matter how angry [inconsideration at the hands of your very own family]

Simply embrace change- in God’s hands that is-

I know it is difficult at times-

Setting apart seems like RIPPING two pieces of cloth so closely knitted together- APART

Or literally tearing the flesh off a live human- OUCH!

Rest be assured, you will be restored

With a greater dignity and you will walk with continuous grace-

The world has no choice but to acknowledge that you no longer fit into their system

And they are right- you have promoted- to a higher, greater and better anointing

Child you are worth more than rubies, may I remind you

And if the blood of Christ is not enough to convince you- then I am not sure what will

But rest assured you are Called Out to Stand Out

Be encouraged, honored that you have been Set Apart by GOD

You're like a Diamond in the Rough- beautiful, rare, invaluable & precious!

REGRET- A Blessing/Appeaser or Curse?

'I REGRET knowing you'; 'I REGRET my relationship with him/her'; 'I REGRET the past 10 years of my life'; 'I REGRET....., I just REGRET it!'

Statements of such caliber may have crossed the minds of some- if not, many- at some point; especially in a more mature and wiser being's retrospective moment. But really, is 'regret' an excusable vocabulary on these instances?

Think about it- if you were retrospectively placed in these once 'regrettable' moments, under the same circumstances with a less mature, unwiser you- the same outcome would result. Alternatively, if the more mature you were retrospectively placed in the same situation bearing the aforesaid criteria- only then would the outcome be possibly alternated.

(FOOD FOR THOUGHT

The older, more mature you would in fact cease to exist... It was only your willingness to acknowledge error and allow positive change that produced your growth.)

So do you 'regret' because this action allows you to:

i.  deflect personal blame onto another party, thus appeasing an guilty (and maybe justifiable) thoughts and actions 

-OR- 

ii. provide an explanation as to why your spiritual, physical, emotional etc. growth has been curtailed/stunted (curse)?

Whatever the case, aren't you cursing God's will for your life? Think about that.

To assist in your analysis, I highlight ahead a personal experience. In my (rather short) life I have had some pretty enduring encounters- particularly where fornication is concerned. In almost all of these (so-called relationships) I have endured abuse- whether emotionally, psychologically, ALMOST physically and most importantly spiritually. But do any of these encounter justify the grounds for regret? My regret? NO! Through God, I have taken on the perspective "to regret a past occurrence is to regret every moment thereafter- that are branches/shoots from that root (which have borne good fruit)." Remember every good gift comes from God (James 1:17)! Can you allow God to change your "regret" or "regretful encounter"  into a gift? YES! In other words, if I regretted these moments, I would blindly regret God's salvation; will; the  healing He brought (& brings) to me; His love and the transformation He has brought to me- and others by extension. More shockingly I would be denying God of His very existence!

I challenge you: 

Change your outlook on life and its tests for the better- starting now- and watch God move and work miracles only He can. Like the apostle Paul acknowledged "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT) The Message Bible blatantly declares: "...Thank God NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS..."

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Father I pray that whomever reads this message will now see or continue to see Your grace over his/her life. I thank You for the abundance of life over him/her and whilst others have not been spared, his/her LIFE bears testimony of who You are- a merciful, omnipotent, omnipresent God. I declare the spirit of thanksgiving will manifest from within, crushing seeds of doubt and regret. I thank You for his/her healing and transformation in Jesus' name!

Yearning to Live in the Spirit

If only wishes came true!

Well, at least this one- a quest to live only in the spirit

Wishing the flesh never existed, that I never tasted sin; lusted after it

That this body never knew filth and the fight to remain holy never brewed or rared its ugly head

O Adam, why did you have to eat the fruit from that forbidden tree?

Why did you have to "open" my eyes? I mean, REALLY?!!

Even when I know that it was all part of the Master Plan-

I still have these itchy questions.

O Adam! *shaking my head*

Now I know sin and sin knows me

It pursues me but I try to run ahead of it

Sad to say though- it sometimes catches up with and bruises me in the race

Reminding me of me 'Oh So Imperfect' nature

Blah!

Kill it with the alarms already! Just kill it!

I need to move on, I WANT to move on with "my" life

Sin just let me be- I've had enough of you already!

I've changed my diet for the betterment of my health

The Doctor recommended a one-a-day dosage of Christ is sufficient

Yet in my search for medicine, the temptation continues to hang around-

Nakedly (yet undiscerning) on the supermarket's shelves 

These packages reveal only 45% of the recommended dosage

And the rest... a dilution to fill the storage container and give "ChristBits In A Jar" or "Almost Like Christ"

But reading the ingredients (which might I add, were too small to read from a distance) listed the additives: gossip, pain infliction, selfishness and lust of the flesh

Tout sa?!

I ain't no fool to realize what this product did- and in no way was it helping my situation

Almost like a heart attack waiting to happen

Forget it! I just need Christ

Nothing else, just Christ

*putting that bottle of sin down, running away arms waving and shouting*

Jesus! Sin wanted me; I picked it up but did not ingest it!

I just need You- You alone! 

Sin let me be for I found Christ my Master finally and I am free!

My Generation

I am today's generation and today's generation is me-

A heart-wrenching but true reality

Where the distinctness between young and old is no longer seen

But rather, it seems that I am you and you are me

How can we expect to fulfill a God-driven mandate,

Create a generation that perpetuates the values and system of a biblical understanding, reverence and fear of God and His word

When the briberies of this world we hold closer than a babe nursing aptly at his mother's bosom

How can we build and advance, if we can't first deal with the root that is you and me?

Who have planted seeds of sin that so rampantly abide in the streets:

Teaching a young woman to sell her body for a moment of "pleasure" in exchange for a fast dollar;

Teaching a young man that having multiple partners makes him a "top dog" but the young ladies who were once his subjects of affection are now labelled with every degrading word in the dictionary 

Since when was it OK for our youth to rob others of possessions in the naked light-

In exchange for what? A puff? A quick trip to the summit of Mount Everest?

Again I tell you- we are our generation and today's generation is we 

They are reflection of what they see in you and me

I remember the days when we brought something not belonging to us,

 Before we could muster a "plausible" explanation", a lash of saucepan in our head is what we would get

I remember the days when an afternoon lime consisted of a trip to the movies or a walk on the square

Now has been redefined by booze and unintelligent conversation!

Where do you think it all originated? With us! And now we must eradicate the plague we've allowed to persist

You and I, they and me have no choice but to see

We are today's generation and today's generation is we

Whatsoever we sow, that shall we reap sparingly

So why do complain when what we see is who we used to be or rather, refuse to not be

Why do we persist in failing to see just how much this generation is a reflection of you and me?

A heart-wrenching but true reality....

THE UNCOVERING OF AN ABASKING GLORY

Have you ever wondered….

If God is so powerful, why wouldn’t He:

i.                    Make man (the world) serve Him without having to choose between heaven and hell?

ii.                  Just heal man as soon as or before he fall ill, rather than allowing him to either endure certain sufferings for a while before receiving healing or rather, dying altogether without “allegedly” receiving the healing he has asked for?

iii.                Allow all persons to live (good and bad alike) until old age because he/she has family, friends, children who would suffer because of an “untimely” demise?

iv.                Grant man the ease of living (especially if we are His princes and princesses) rather than (seemingly) allowing the rich to get richer and the poorer to get poorer and those in between to stay there … whilst thieves roam the streets, stealing hard-earned possessions, leaving the victims to suffer (yet another loss)?

v.                  Not allow man to sin because He knows it would only lead his soul to damnation and He wants His creation all to serve Him (after all we are His children right?)

vi.                Control man altogether because He created man (that sure would make living easier right?!)

And the questions would continue flooding in….

And the ANSWER is simple in word form but complex in theory and practicality: God wants us to DISCOVER Him.

Think of a treasure hunt; you are aware of the hidden treasure that has been made known to you, within a particular locale. You have no idea as to what the final product/ reveal is, however you do know that it is precious, valuable and could garner riches. There are heights and depths you must travel and trials you must endure in order to get to THAT location. Therefore you must seek to arm yourself with appropriate paraphernalia in order to ensure an (almost) unbroken route to the realization of the object of your affection. You may think that you are fully enamored for the journey but the truth is… walking through the journey itself will unveil whether what you have is sufficient and what may be lacking. In other words, you learn more (about yourself, others and the route in particular) as you go along. Still your eyes remain on the prize. (And) of course, if you choose to endure; you will reach your targeted destination.

So too is life and the journey to discovering God, His kingdom, His glory and His riches. No one will ever know what he/she may have to endure (sometimes resultant from the individual’s personal decisions/actions) but if persistent in pressing towards the mark of the high calling and excellence, such diligence will be rewarded. Even more so, the mere fact that one walks the journey reaps rewards. But most importantly it unveils God or rather- God unveils Himself more and more, little by little because He recognizes how much you seek after Him. (So) my motivation to you:

ENDURE another day and DISCOVER GOD in your situation today!