<<Please refer to
the scriptures quoted>>
1. It's Not My Fault
You have been pushed,
beaten and broken. You may even feel like someone is after you, and they’re using
all avenues to access and apply pressure your breaking points. NEWSFLASH! Once you try to do good
there will always be- in the darkness- the enemy lurking closely, looking for
an open door in our lives to do destruction. For this reason we are called to war-
not in the flesh, but in the spirit- “for the weapons of our warfare are not
carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down strongholds… (2 Corinthians
10:4 KJV)”
What are your weapons
of warfare? Your Praise. The Old Testament details this distinctively in Judges
20. Named after the twelve sons of Jacob (later renamed Israel), the tribes
experienced a war amongst them- Benjamin had committed a crime and the remaining
eleven tribes were to purge the evil from their midst. They inquired if the
Lord: ‘“Which tribe shall go first to attack the people of Benjamin?” The Lord
answered, “Judah (literal Hebrew translation meaning praise) is to go first.”’(Judges 20:18 NLT) Of course, they were
victorious as there was a remnant of 600 men (initially) from Benjamin who had
escaped- out of an army exceeding 25,000.
Even after you are
encouraged to war with praise (and maybe even further into spiritual
warfare/intercession), you must ensure that you put on the whole armor of God
that you may be able to resist the enemy and that he may flee from you. (Ephesians
6:10-17)
------This is just one side of the coin,
now time to flip over to the next side------
2. It's ALL My Fault
In other cases, we are
quick to place blame on people and the enemy for the consequences of our own
sin, our own iniquities. Unfortunately we are too ignorant to even admit our faults
to God; remain blinded by our own sin and therefore leave a gateway for the
devourer to destroy our lives. Always remember that we will be judged
accordingly (Romans 2:1-8), so stop judging others according to your sin!
Instead, ask God to show you your sin, and teach you to change your ways to His
(Psalm 139: 23-24). Truth be told, we are all sinners (Romans 3:10) and
sometimes though the better part of us desires change, we find ourselves
falling back into the old habits that we are used to. It is here that the
scripture “the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” is evidenced. Who
else but Paul could have summed it all up nicely in Romans 7:14-25? Yet still,
he did not let it (his sin) deter him from pressing towards the mark of
excellence (Philippians 3:12-16)
-----With that said, it is now time to
evaluate your life & relationships----
Who are the people that
you have in or have a tendency to attract in your life? And what role do they
play in your quest to become more Christ-like? Let us look at a case by case
basis accompanied by some relevant questions where necessary to assist you in
your analysis. What do you expect from your:
a.
Boyfriend/
Girlfriend?
This area is extremely
crucial as it represents one of the top reasons why some may walk towards or
away from Christ; especially as there is a tendency to open up more to him/her than
you would your friends and family (based on a rule of thumb). Hence the bible
urges to “Guard your heart, as it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs
4:23). Please read Ephesians 5:21-32; and ponder on the following:
i.
Is my boyfriend/girlfriend God-fearing?
ii.
Is he/she submitted to Christ and has a
relationship with Him?
iii.
(Question for the ladies) Is he one I
would want to submit to?
iv.
Why? Why not?
v.
Does he treat me (body, mind, heart) as
God’s Holy temple (without spot or blemish, without sin)?
vi.
Does he/she honor me by honoring God’s
law?
vii.
Does he/she push me towards Christ or
away from Christ?
viii.
Has my relationship with Christ grown,
since I allowed him/her into my life?
ix.
(Using the answers of the from the
previous questions) Is he/she my husband/wife?
The final question is
particularly important, because the boyfriend/girlfriend you are dating should
be your eventual spouse. Otherwise, he/she is occupying valuable space in your
life, making things more complicated to deal with (soul ties, pain, hurt,
rejection), in the journey to discovering your true Adam/Eve. Do not allow “spare
tires” to occupy the place of your spouse. Confused about who is your Adam/Eve?
“Seek God’s kingdom first and His righteousness and all these things shall be
added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)
NB: It is ok to love people from a distance!
b.
Family,
Friends and Colleagues?
Though some of us may
not have that ‘significant other’, there are still unhealthy relationships that
we maintain but cripple the walk with Christ. These proverbs are of no
unfamiliarity, I am sure: ‘Birds of a feather flock together’ and ‘Show me your
friends and I will show you who you are’. By no means am I implying that we
should not interact with others nor do we need others to help us. After all, “every
joint must supply” and Christ did not come to bring Good News to the (just the)
saved but to the unsaved that you would have life and have it more abundantly
(John 10:10). And you are commissioned to spread the Good News to the world. This
message is to simply state: “Be careful as to who you allow in your inner
circle/court.” Answer these questions pertaining to your family, friends and
colleagues:
i.
Are they God-fearing?
ii.
Do they have a relationship with Christ?
iii.
Do they honor and respect my
relationship with Christ by the way they speak to and about me?
iv.
Are they bearers of (spiritual) fruit? (Galatians
5:22-23)
v.
Has my relationship with Christ grown
since I have allowed them into my life?
vi.
The saying goes ‘People are in our lives
for a reason, season or lifetime.’ Therefore are those who are there for a reason
or season, become those whom I hold on to, hoping that they would stick around
for a lifetime? Are those who are there for a season or lifetime, the very ones
that I have dismissed as being in my life for a reason? Confused? Pray and ask
God to show you the people who are within the category of ‘reason’, ‘season’ or
‘lifetime’; teach you to let go of those not befitting of the current category
they are in and to help you put them in the right category.
vii.
Are they dream crushers or dream
realizers? Will they push me towards my God given destiny?
REMEMBER not every person is worth sharing
a dream with- especially when their selfish motives hinder your ability to
achieve those dreams and land you in hot water. Recall Joseph’s story in
Genesis 37? He spoke too soon in sharing his dreams with his brothers, and
their ignorance led to him being consequently sold into slavery.
There are many
questions worth asking, but I leave them up to you, to ask and answer. My
advice would be that you write down the answers (and possibly, the questions)
listed prior and review them. Pray first, that you may answer the questions
honestly and without bias. Finally, when you are done answering, pray and seek
God in resolving the best way to let go of those who threaten your relationship
with Him and hold on to or discover those who push you towards Him.
Sometimes the things
that bring you great pain in letting go, also hold the key to receiving your
greatest breakthrough. What are you
having trouble letting go of?
I pray that you
received revelation and insight on this God-instructed piece, and that you are
encouraged now more than ever, to continue pressing towards the mark of
excellence.
God loves you- INSPITE
OF! Be blessed!
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